Had dinner with my closest guy friend since pre-k tonight. I hadn't even realized how much I missed him until I was laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face.

It made me so grateful for the wonderful friends that I have. You all make my life worth living.

I really, really don't care about you and yr attention whore-like ways.

Get out of my life. (:

Just when I start trying (and succeeding) in forgetting about it, EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER BRINGS IT UP.

I should take it as a sign that I shouldn't give up, but I won't. It's not worth it.

it's kindness week on campus. there's a snap cup in the lobby and we're supposed to write little affirmation notes to people and then put them in the cup. the RAs put them into people's mailboxes. i've written quite a few and got some in my mailbox today. they were really sweet. i love my friends. (:

i feel so tired. all i want to do is sleep. blah. lethargy is creeping on me.

anyway, zach's uncle passed away sunday night / monday morning. i'm not really sure exactly when but it was in that time frame. he came over monday night and asked me to spend time with him. the look on his face was just exhaustion and sadness. it was like looking at an injured puppy. we spent like 4 hours hanging out. i tried to just keep the conversation lighthearted. i didn't really know what to do. he left my room at about 1 in the morning and then 10 minutes later he called me and was just thanking me over and over for being there for him and hanging out with him. he was like i know that you have to be patient with me and i appreciate it. it was a sweet call.

other than that things have been semi-quiet on the western front. i've discovered that one of my roommates is much more naive than i thought. that bothers me but whatever. she'll figure her shit out eventually, i hope. i like her but sometimes she speaks and it's just like nothingness coming out of her mouth.

alex has been hanging around a lot. i'm tolerating him for now but i know that soon it's gonna get annoying. i wish hunter would come over more often. damn him for being involved and popular on campus. i like when he comes by. he gets me. not in a nice romantical way but in a really great i-like-this-kid-and-we're-gonna-be-great-friends way.

three days til my birthday. (:

it's going to be amazing.

i love my new hair.

i dyed my hair black. i'm hoping it will look amazing.

my birthday is in a few days. i'm really excited. i feel like 19 is going to be awesome. even though zach told me that there's really nothing to look forward to i'm determined to prove him wrong.

so, alex likes me. that's weird. i would have bet a small fortune that he was gay. all my roommates thought so too. he told erin, and brittany, and even zach that he liked me. way to make things really fucking awkward. he's over all the time now too. that just adds to the awkwardness. whatever. i hope this thing ends soon cause i can't take much more of it.

hunter, a guy who lives across the hall, gave us his butterfly chair thing for our living room. i was ridiculously happy. he had left it here after a game of taboo but then a few days later he took it back. now he apparently rearranged his room and it doesn't fit anymore so he brought it back. in exchange we decided to let him come over whenever he wants, which is cool because he's funny. all is well with that. erin swears he likes me but i don't know about that.

zach is still his awkwardly cute nerdy self. we hung out on monday night til about 2 in the morning. i loved it. (: it's like i can't get enough of him. i'm gonna have to stop this soon. his girlfriend is tiny but i feel like she would come and cut me or something.

i'm going to go see lars and the real girl tonight. psych club is hosting so that should be fun. :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTEST FRIEND IN THE ENTIRE WORLD. :D

so it's been quite a while since i last posted. i successfully moved into my dorm. it's amazing. i love the way everything fits pretty perfectly. and i love my roommates. for the most part anyway, lol. i also love having friends live down the hall or right downstairs. this new freedom is fun and exciting. i can do whatever, whenever, with whoever, however i would like to do it.

don't get me wrong. i miss home. i miss diana, and juancarlos. i miss my family and my beautiful godchildren. but so far i'm holding up really well. i also miss my friends off at colleges somewhere else. i'm so thankful for the internet and text messaging. lifelines.

so far i've fallen in very serious like with my RA. his name is zach. he's funny, smart, athletic. he drives a motorcycle. he has a tattoo. sigh. he's pretty great. downfall? girlfriend. damnit. oh well. we'll see what happens. (;


anywhozers, i'm gonna go read some angels and demons. until a later date.